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INTRODUCTION
THE FOUR NOBLE TRUTHS
1. All life is suffering.
2. Suffering is caused by
desire or attachment to certain outcomes or results.
3. Suffering can be ended
by giving up attachment.
4. The Buddhist method for
learning how to give up attachment.
I can't stand
clichés; some of them make me so angry. If you have never suffered or you don't
care that billions of men, women and children on our planet are suffering or
you're one of those people who flaunt your saintliness by "being
positive" you'll neither understand nor care about my anger. But all of you
have something to learn that you don't already know.
Anger is healthy, suffering is not.
Through a lifetime of investigation, I have come to understand the
symbolic meaning of the above `Truths'; however, I want to be explicit.
Exactly what kind of `attachment' are the writers of this cliché talking
about?
Water? Food? Shelter? Health? Safety? A Rolls Royce?
Religious evangelism, persecution, martyrdom and deprivation have been
used for thousands of years as an excuse for political and economic inequity
and injustice. But my reaction of anger to the above `Truths' is similar to
the first time I heard another cliché expressed in a class given by a
Sociology Professor. He told us the French existentialists had declared that
"all people have a choice." At the time, I had no choice at all; I
was completely trapped and his words made me furious! But I never forgot them.
The reason I didn't forget them was because they made me angry.
It wasn't the cliché that taught me, it was my response of anger to the
utter stupidity of that statement which propelled me to discover why I was
trapped and what to do about it. My anger challenged the beliefs that were
implanted in my brain when I was a child and showed me how to change the
circumstances that had trapped me. My anger gave me a choice.
There's way too much we don't understand about life and human behavior.
there are experts all over the world writing, teaching and proselytizing, but
nothing changes. The human species continues to run roughshod over people,
animals and the land caring nothing about the devastation left in its wake. We
can try to blame one country, one culture, one religion or one race for this
savagery but anyone who has studied or traveled knows that every race, every
religion and every country had prejudice, corruption and most have ravaged
their own environment. To point fingers is naive and hypocritical.
We could also blame just the men for this aggressive carnage, but
mothers collude in the cultural training of their sons who become selfish,
narcissistic brutes and teach their daughters to silently prostitute
themselves for security or add to the mayhem by clawing at each other.
While our collective brains are now arrogant in delusional
self-satisfaction regarding our superiority in information, technology and
power, we are myopically overlooking the obvious. the most important thing on
each is mutual respect and quality of life.
Chapter
I
Anger is
different than hate. Anger is the supreme heat of passion, of caring too
deeply, while
hate is emptiness, a lack of compassion, a vacuum of spiritual love
... of not belonging. Hate is disconnection from humanity with an empty heart.
The catastrophic flooding of the Mississippi River in the United States
in 1993 is an apt analogy to anger and human behavior.
The Mississippi has an energy of its own and could not be contained within man's
fortifications just because we willed it so. In fact, believing the energy could
be contained indefinitely is exactly what caused the catastrophe. If we had
worked with the needs of the people as equal to the needs of the river, the
disaster never would have happened.
The belief
that we're superior beings with superior minds breeds a contempt and arrogance
that leads us resolutely down the path to tragedy, both socially and
individually. The desire to put on blinders, damming and suppressing anything
that bothers us, is the greatest fallacy of the human condition.
Human beings repress anger the same way
we tried to control the Mississippi river; by bottling up our emotions inside
ourselves as though it could remain there indefinitely. Like water, emotions are
energy; we cannot subdue stored anger any more than we could master the
Mississippi. When too controlled and confined, the energy eventually explodes,
forcing the individual into sudden, extreme acts of violence toward anyone
within range.
This
theory also may partially explain cultural aberrations such as genocide,
fanaticism and individual acts of the mentally ill; however, this book does not
pretend to explain sociopathic or psychopathic behavior.
Anger is
power. It's the same kind of power as the Mississippi, only it's contained
within human beings instead of within soil. Cultures can dam, and damn the
energy of anger in a variety of ways, but it will eventually gather enough
strength to sweep everything out of its path unless acknowledged and respected.
Collective
anger causes mass destruction. Individual anger causes immeasurable pain and
suffering. Just like the Mississippi, individual and collective anger cannot be
walled in, dammed up, denied, imprisoned, medicated and controlled. It will
explode when it gets too full, destroying everything in its path. Anger is a
major force that must be dealt with, it cannot continue to be suppressed or just
managed.
In its initial stage, anger is an
instinct for self-preservation. All animals have it, and human beings are
animals. The difference is that wild animals express their power while human
beings cannot; humans have no riverbeds for guidelines and, besides, we're not
allowed.
Most
cultures view life as a dominating, competitive, hierarchical grab for power.
Most people choose to believe that cooperation, caring, love, generosity and
justice are weakness and refer to "those wimps and whiners" as though people who
prefer sharing and caring for others are losers.
In
addition, the methodological, behavioral and scientific approach to human
behavior has convinced most of us that human beings are controllable like rats
in a laboratory; forcing us to suppress our negative emotions into denial and
invisibility. Because we want to control life, it must be so.
With
this mindset, engineers proceeded to wall up the Mississippi as though it was
just another irritation in our path toward domination. They had no concept of
cooperation, no respect for nature, no care for the river itself. We have
something to learn from the American Indian.
Our social
dysfunction has caused anger to become the most misunderstood, misused and
maligned of all the human emotions. And yet, anger is our most important ally
for self-defense. It's the trigger for justice, for equality, for assertiveness
and for personal safety and autonomy. It is, next to love, the most important
advocate that we have as social beings. Yet, most human beings are taught from
birth to suppress this most basic of instincts as an unsociable and unacceptable
act of confrontation.
Human
anger is nothing more than a demand for justice. The problem is that the
injustice is usually damned inconvenient; it's a lot easier to deny, ignore and
suppress the anger than it is to do the work necessary for resolution. Parental,
economic, educational and social systems of hierarchical and dictatorial
behavior create injustice.
Supposedly
we learn from history, but I don't think so. History has taught us over and
over, that no one culture, no one religion, no one ideology, no one perspective,
no one race, no group of people and no one person can predominate over all the
others. The obvious answer is to learn how to cooperate with differences instead
of forcing our ways or beliefs onto others.
The
solution is to eliminate neglect, abuse and inequality at home, in institutions,
in schools, in businesses, in government; to realize that every human being on
this planet is equal in value and deserves to be treated with respect and to
live a decent, honorable life. We must realize that any display of anger has a
belief, mistaken or not, that an injustice has taken place. All that is
necessary is to dialogue and not to deny; and to learn the difference between an
immediate and a past injustice so we don't dump the past on the innocent. We
must learn to live cooperatively with the planet, with ourselves and with each
other.
This
book clearly separates infant, child and adult behavior. One cannot compare a
child's behavior from an adult perspective; we've been too corrupted. We must
view the infant as the animal that it is; and only then can we understand what
it's trying to communicate. Similarly, we cannot interpret child/adult
interactions in the same way that we interpret adult/adult behavior. The child
has no power. Yes, they push, torment and fight to get what they want, but
that's their job. They're little animals learning how to live, balance and
survive in the world.
Purchase
Honoring Anger.
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